(Which I never got the chance to do)

The first is that this is not a diplomatic or political statement. This is a lesson that I reflected upon during my time here at Harvard, and now as a Harvard graduate.

The second thing you need to know about me is that my name is Nam, and I was born and raised in Viet Nam. And whenever I talked to a non-Vietnamese friend, there are three common responses that immediately followed that introduction

The first one is the impression that Viet Nam has the most unfortunate currency in the English language. For those who do not know, it’s called the Viet Nam Dong

The second common response is “I love Phở” – which somehow, you all unanimously mispronounced it into a word that we Vietnamese used for prostitution. So the next time when you say “I love Pho” to a Vietnamese friend and that person smiles, you know what is going on in their head.

And the third and the most common one “Are you from the North or from the South” is a reference to what many people know of Viet Nam: the war. And so I carry these experiences to America, and to Harvard.

When I first arrived here in early August on a weekend, I was staying at a friend’s house in Allston. And the next Monday, I planned my first visit to Harvard, I had to take the bus 66, which the last stop is here at Harvard.

I did some search online and there was somewhere on the MBTA website that they do take cash.  As I was stepping onto the bus, I took out a 100-dollar note, and immediately I got yelled at by the bus driver. He asked me if I had ever heard of a card? “No, not that stupid credit card”. And then he went on a rant about how bad of a day he was having. I was feeling super embarrassed, and I can tell other people waiting on the bus weren’t pleased either. In the end, the bus driver just shut the door behind me, with me on the bus, and drove.

Now as he was continuing his rant, a couple of things went through my mind. Is he going to report me to the police? Or immigration? But the most terrifying question he could have asked was where I was heading for school and what admission office in the world would say yes to such a guy who couldn’t figure out a simple thing as a bus ticket? I couldn’t lie, the bus’s last stop is Harvard, it has Harvard LED everywhere. I was thinking about what I was going to say. No offense to our friendly neighbor but I did not know Lesley University was a possible answer.

Now Allston and Cambridge are not that far, but those few minutes could have felt like hours.  And after a few minutes of ranting, the bus driver, finally arrived at “So what universe are you from”. I felt like this was an appropriate moment to respond to the man to everyone on the bus with the respectable excuse: “I am sorry, sir. I only arrived here to the country yesterday” and so the rant stopped, and he calmly asked, “Where are you from?”

And there I was, I know what I was going to say, but my head was running all through these hypotheticals. Is he going to say that he ‘loves prostitution’, is he going to ask to see a Viet Nam Dong? But then, he ventured to the third and the most common follow-up: “which part of Viet Nam?”. He told me that his older brother was there during the conflict, and he wanted to know which part of Viet Nam I was from but before I could provide an answer, the bus arrived here at Johnston Gate, and what he said next is the reason I am standing here today. The man hit the brake he released a big inhale and exhale “You know what, it does not matter, we are friends now, so you take care, my friend”

What seems like an ordinary response to many Americans struck me deeply. He did not know my name, nor did I know his; he did not know whether my grandfather and his brother were in conflict. But all that he cared is that we are now “friends”

Now if you speak Vietnamese (which of course many of you don’t), there are at least 26 different ways for us Vietnamese to address the person you are talking to – the pronoun “you”. And to select the correct pronoun, one needs to know that person’s age, gender, profession, seniority, and I kid you not, the standard deviation to the speakers’ parents’ and grandparents’ average ages – that’s right, that’s how we Asian do casual math. But it wasn’t until recently did I realize that if you ask any Vietnamese in any part of the world, you will hear that there is one universal Vietnamese translation of the word “you”, pronounced “bạn” – a literal translation for a FRIEND

Our mission is “Learn to Change the world”, but it wasn’t until recently did I fully understand what that meant to me personally. It’s about people, it’s about friendship, it’s about changing yourself, being more understanding, seeking friendship, to see an opportunity to make friends everywhere you go.

My time here was short, but I definitely change, but without my classmates, without everyone around me, that couldn’t possibly happen.  In the word of Vladimir Orlando Key Jr Professor of Politics and Leadership Gary Orren, who have taught many leaders and presidents of many countries, whose last class I was privileged to be a part of before his retirement “More than ever, we need friends, especially those who have different opinions and ideologies”. Look to your left, look to your right, it is extremely easy to see your friends, with whom you have shared an amazing time here.  

I want to end by quoting one of my most influential educators, Mister. Rogers – a poem called “I need you” – and here is an extract

And thank you so much, the international friends of the class of 2022, for letting me be your friend.